Plastic Paddy’s Day

Lyrics: Lorenzo Testa
Music: Silvano Ancellotti and Lorenzo Testa
Tune: Muireann’s jig (Niall Vallely)

Every year in March, people from all over the world pretend to be Irish, wearing Leprechauns hats, drinking green beer and all those kind of stereotypes. Jaysus… the green beer?! Are you serious, lads? Have you ever seen it in a Dublin pub?

It’s March again, the day has come
when everything goes green
the stereotypes will rise again
the hats, the drinks, the beards
Call it Paddy’s, call it Patty’s
Well lads who fucking cares
Tonight we’ll have a “grand craic”
even if I don’t know what it is

The other day I was walking down on Eden Quay
I was filled with wonder ‘cause there was no Leprechauns
I saw no fecking elfs, or druids and pots of gold
but what they call “knackers” searching for a shot
In the pub I asked for an Irish car bomb
but the rude lad said to me “hey listen, go feck off”
So I asked for a green beer, like I got in NY streets
But they gave me a Nastro with puke in the glass

So happy folking Plastic Paddy’s day
when everyone goes green
except the Irishmen
be Busto, Boston, New York, Chicago or Casürezz
Just drink and make a fool of you
for Plastic Paddy’s day

I went back to Temple Bar in great haste and fear
since I wanted to preserve the teeth I had in me mouth
I paid my seven euro for an iced pint of stout
but everyone knows Guinness here is not the same
thanks goodness I found a few Americans there
so we went out singing aloud along Merchant’s Quay
First “Whiskey in the Jar” and then a Garth Brooks’ song
Could it be a better way to celebrate today?

So happy folkin’ Plastic Paddy’s day
when everyone goes green
except the Irishmen
be Busto, Boston, New York, Chicago or Casürezz
Just drink and make a fool of you
for Plastic Paddy’s day

Well I am holding forth here from the stage
but I don’t really know if I’m different from them
Cause I collect me money singing pub ’n’ drinking songs
And all the dignity I had, it was lost with this song
I’m sorry lads I have probably drank too much tonight
Cause I hardly know who and where I fecking am
but anyway Jaysus I see that I’m the only one
inside this bloody hell without a huge green paddy hat

So happy folking Plastic Paddy’s day
when everyone goes green
except the Irishmen
be Busto, Boston, New York, Chicago or Casürezz
Just drink and make a fool of you
for Plastic Paddy’s day